Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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