C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
