you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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