do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
