let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
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