Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
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