don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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