Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
