those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
