Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
