Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
