i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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