Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
