Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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