I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
