Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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