Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Randomize
