You work out of a Hotel?
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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