My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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