What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
