I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
