is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
