...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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