He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
