Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
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