you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
