I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
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