best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
