Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
