hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
