I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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