Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
