he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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