i think my tv is drunk
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
