I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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