ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
