oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
birth control should be required to get into college
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
