I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize