Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
