Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
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I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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