I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
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