they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
