How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
