im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
