I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
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