We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
As shirtless as possible
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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