scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
