Come see our sink grown plant.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
