member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
