Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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